The Core of My Happiness

As I mentioned in my first post, I have spent the past several evenings really trying to discover myself and what it is that I am truly thankful for.  I have wasted so much time reflecting on my bad choices, mistakes, and blunders that I forgot that my focus should be on what I have, rather than my have nots.

I closed my eyes, rested my head on my pillow and begin to reflect on what made me happy.  The things that came to mind were such simple, silly little things…things like picking blackberries, an old wooden swing with a yellow nylon rope that hung from an old mesquite tree, digging in an old trunk in my grandmother’s attic, drinking hot coffee with my granny, Christmas with all the cousins, movies at the drive in, laying on the grass and watching the clouds, trying to identify an animal, a person, an object.  I thought about my mom’s swiss steak, my dad cooking breakfast, summers at the library, and yes, the sound of a box fan.  Some of my fondest memories have been the big meals at Thanksgiving, the trimming of the tree, and the Easter egg hunts in the yard.  All of these things had one common ground…people I treasure, trust, and love.

As I continued in this game of discovery, I uncovered the truth.  That my life isn’t about things, but about the people I value, and the relationships formed.  The core of my happiness is the memories that were built from my encounters with the people in my life.  If relationships are what I truly value, my question to myself is this…why do I seem to put more emphasis on other things?  Wow, this revelation has been hard to swallow.   It pains me to think of my wasted efforts on trivial things that do not have merit, value, or significance.

My goal today and each day after will be an attempt to break this pattern of squander.  Old habits will be hard to toss aside overnight.   However, I believe with a new found purpose, new life will be formed…like a breath of fresh air.

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2 Responses to The Core of My Happiness

  1. Becky Wafer says:

    Jen, I went through a self transformation phase (midlife crisis!) a few years ago. I realized that things don’t matter, but that “people” do!! You need to look at yourself as a blessing to yourself and to other people… You are a light to a lot of people. Love yourself as others love you!!

    • Isn’t it funny how we put so much emphasis on other things? Wow, I never realized until I have all this stuff surrounding me and now it really means nothing to me. Still can’t let it all go yet, but its my friends and family that I find my comfort.

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