“Such are the dreams of the everyday ex wife…You see everywhere any time of the day…An everyday ex wife who gave up the good life for me…” Okay, so maybe I changed the words of this Glen Campbell song (Dreams of the Everyday Housewife) up just a little, but the words just popped in my head and I found some humor in it. It’s the little things.
I hate being an ex wife…I hate being an ex in law… I hate being an ex step mom…I hate being an ex anything…and I hate the word hate. But, I am not alone in this ex club. It is amazing to me how many people in today’s world are an ex, have an ex, have several ex’s, and still others date an ex. Sheesh, does anyone have a normal relationship anymore? Whatever happened to ’til death to us part? I’m terrified of starting a relationship. I don’t think the word commitment means anything to anyone anymore. (That sentence really scares me.)
I dislike the fact that I am so skeptical in the relationship department, but after looking around me, I’m not sure any of us knows what love is. Do we really work at our relationships? Do we value our commitments? Do we respect the other person? Do we really intend for it to last?
I’m just not ready to put myself out there. I don’t want to fall hard for another man that sends me flowers, wines and dines me, and says all the right things, just to leave me standing there alone in the end. I don’t want to be shown the door again at this stage of my life.
I wish that I wasn’t so afraid. I wish that I could trust again. I wish that I could love again. That my friends is the dream of this everyday ex-wife. The sad thing…relationships don’t come with a guarantee.
Today, I am thankful for dreams…because dreams give us hope.