D-I-V-O-R-C-E is never a pretty picture

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.

Image via Wikipedia

Much of my writings tend to be about my divorce.  In the beginning that really wasn’t my intention, but the divorce affected me in a tremendous way.  As a result, much of what I feel and describe is a result of the transitions I am going through and experiencing.

Divorce was not something that was common in my family background.  I had one aunt that went through a divorce late in life, but other than that, divorce was something that happened in other families.  Even my friends at the time were still married to their original spouses.

In other words, divorce was like a foreign language to me.  It was like walking through unchartered territory.  It was like sailing without a sail or rowing a boat without an oar.  I was lost.  On certain days, I still feel that way.

When I write about these things, I’m not wanting the reader’s sympathy, I’m not seeking pity, and I’m not portraying myself as a victim.  I am merely divulging the range of emotions that are running through my veins.

I have been divorced for 7 years now, but it still feels new to me.  My divorce has been my biggest disappointment in life because it went against everything I believed.  There are days I feel tarnished, used, and unlovable… like I was tossed out with yesterday’s trash.  Other days I feel like a worn out pair of shoes,  an unmade bed, or a sock with a hole in the toe.

On the positive side, I get stronger with each hurdle.  I grow wiser after each battle.   I feel happier with each passing day.  I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

If someone can relate to my state of mind, can connect with a reaction of a similar emotion, or feel like they are not alone in their pain and loneliness, then my writings have a purpose and a significance.

Today I am thankful for the good years of my marriage…it wasn’t all bad.

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4 Responses to D-I-V-O-R-C-E is never a pretty picture

  1. Becky says:

    The way I look at my “first” divorce is that I have a beautiful child from that union. I wouldn’t change a thing because I have Jacob and he brings me so much joy. Now the second divorce is a different story …,run fast to divorce court!! Have a good day, Jen!

  2. Robyn says:

    Jennifer, you are a blessing!!!!

  3. Katrina says:

    Jennifer…I understand my parents as you know are still together…I had an older brother at the time that had been through a few divorces but I didnt want to put my kids through that. I love the way you describe the feeling its right on. I have accepting things now but it still seems surreal at the time. I also got two awesome kids out of the deal so I cant say it was a bad deal…it was just ten years that didnt end the way i thought it would. You are not unlovable I happend to think your a great person that just hasnt found her true soul mate yet. You will….till then….I love your writings its nice to see what you feel put to words. Thank you.
    Love katrina

    • Thanks for your response Kat. I agree, when you have been blessed with a child, you can overlook a lot of the bad. I wouldn’t trade the experience because without the marriage I wouldn’t have that super son of mine. He is worth every ounce of hurt and pain I might have gone through.

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