I mentioned in an earlier post that I was working on my set of personal commandments. I also said in that same post that it was a slow process. The wheels still are not turning too fast in this department, but I am beginning to make some progress.
I again decided to follow Gretchen Rubin’s lead and picked her first commandment as my own. Being me…this is kind of tricky. Especially if you are not certain who you really are. As I’ve gotten older, I think this has gotten easier. Or maybe its the years of counseling that has opened my eyes and exposed my inner self. In any event, I feel I know myself better now than ever before.
I know I’m more confident…Yeah me! I know I’m less trusting…Gotta work on that. I know I’m more independent…You go girl! I know I can’t listen to two conversations at once…just not good at multi-tasking. I know I’m more honest in what I say and how I feel…I think that’s a good thing. I know my attention span is shorter…how did that happen? My memory…is history…gone…pfft.
I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I knew how to have more fun. I wish I was creative, and I wish I wasn’t such a homebody. Okay, now that I know my faults and strengths, now what?
Being yourself isn’t always easy. But at the same time, I feel like I have no control over some of my personality quirks. I am the way I am and I am learning to accept that. Some days I feel strong and confident with myself while other days I want to just crawl in a cave and hide.
Being me means accepting my strengths as well as my weaknesses, acknowledging my talents and recognizing my shortcoming. It also means broadening my horizons, stepping into unchartered territory, and taking a few risks.
To be genuine, authentic, and real is the path to finding myself. People might not always like me, understand me, or accept me, and that’s okay. I am learning that being Jennifer is the key to my happiness and for that, I am thankful.